=c
I'm sad and depress. Mom thinks that I'm tired or drained out of energy because I'm too quiet and lack expression. But actually, I'm sad and depress. It's because of my friends. I don't feel like I really belong. They may be fun and all but I really can't express myself to them. I can't talk about my interests and I can't relate to some of the things they talk or I just feel left out. One has some mean girl attitude. I'm adjusting to her because there are just some things that she says or does that could quite hurt or lessen the person's ego or something but she doesn't really intentionally does that. The other one is what I always wonder about. I do know that she's not fond of me because she doesn't laugh and mostly, we're just silent if left alone together. We've never really been close even back to highschool days. We're just stuck hanging out together because of the fact that we came from the same school. She can get irritated quite easily as well so I make sure to be careful with my words or actions around her. I assume that she doesn't really like me, I'm just glad that she doesn't really dislikes or hates me as much she does on someone. The others are fine to/with me, I guess. We all get along just fine except for one, who they don't really like and I can't help but feel irritated by that person at times as well. As for my part, I feel like I'm just their background, just the air around them. I'm just glad that they remember me.The times that I feel like I'm left out are the times I reminisce highschool and close friends, who mostly go to a different school or belong in another section, which makes out schedules clash. I would think about how much I miss them, what they could be doing right now or who could they be hanging out with? It makes me want to go back to the old times but I can't reverse time. So I'll just step unto the future to see and wait if I would be finally able to adjust with my new friends or get to have another group of friends to hang out with.
Right now, my source of happiness is the computer. I don't think that would ever change whether I'll be in gradeschool, highschool, college or working.